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Adventures in Being Lost

There were two fish having a conversation.  One asks the other how they are enjoying the water.  The other replies, "What the hell is water?"

I used to read that the Atman and Brahman are one, and completely did not get it.  To put it another way, our spirit or soul is one with God.  It is a spark from the fire of God.  I heard it over and over so many ways throughout the years and though intellectually I understood the concept, I did not grasp it beyond as a philosophical concept.  But something has changed in the past few months.  I have glimpses of it as a reality.  What if God is me...right now?  That this God In Me does not judge, and nothing can separate from this God who is the essence of love.

It means I am free.  I used to always come to God and feel like I had to spend several minutes confessing all my sins before I could enter the presence of God.  I never felt fully pure.  I felt like a fraud in the presence of the Divine.  But if God is in me and expressing Godself as me when I love, bring peace, and do God and is there even when I do not express Godself in this highest way...then I can let go of my self-hatred.  I can let go of this lingering unworthy-ness.  I am free.  This is grace.  I cannot be separated from this oneness because God can never be estranged from God's own self.   Ugh...I have a hard time even putting this into words.

What this means is that I can sit in meditation basking in the presence of God.  It means I can love others knowing that they too are a manifestation of God.  They may shadow it over with doubts and insecurities as I often do, but it does not change who they truly are.  I see God in them....they are Krishna.  They are Jesus.  They are Kali.  They are Ganesh.    I cannot hold the vision, but I get glimpses.  It fills me with such happiness.


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